So long old friend
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello
I've been friends with him for five years. Five years. Yes we've fought, some of them were so terrible too but we always bounced back. Always. Always managed to laugh it off. Something's happend.

I don't know what I did so wrong.
I just...want to cry
He won't even listen to what I'm saying.
I may have lost him forever.
Tags: ,

Hearts, minds, and general romance
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello
I am eighteen years old. Still young in the eyes of some, very much old and useless to others. I offer my age to you only because I am eighteen and never once dated. Ever. In my entire life.

What's wrong with me? Am I ugly? Maybe. Am I too nerdy? Possibly. Does hair grow out of weird places on my body? God no...though time and age will tell if it ever will :) I believe that I am average. I'm not some skiny model who has tall, gorgeous legs, a butt someone would kill for, big breasts and hair that makes the room suddenly shine whilst sprouting flowers like those shampoo adds. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart and damned if I can find my way around a city..let alone my own backyard. I am Emma. Plain and simple. And this Emma has yet to find her 'romeo' her 'white prince/princess' her 'one and only love' and though some people may think 'wow, eighteen and still alone. Poor kid.' I laugh.

Yes it's true. I have been, and probably will be alone for a while still. I guess my nature is not that which young men these days are looking for. I don't blame them. We all want some good looking thing that we dream up. Women are just as guilty as any man. We do it too ladies. We say 'it's all about soul, personality' yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, and we all fly around on pigs sprouting rainbows out our asses. Get real. Before personality comes the looks. The blonde hair, blue eyes, muscles overflowing, six pack abb machine who surfs and has deadly gorgeous features. And when we sit next to Mr. Lanky, pocket protector and glasses man on the train, we don't look twice. We're all guilty. Me included. :)

I've seen friends, people I love and cherish in my life, partner up and break whilst I watch from the sidelines. I've watched them fall head over heals to have a small, if not insanly large, part of them crushed. And I've always tried to pick up the pieces and glue it back together. Trouble with glue is it doesn't hide the cracks. I am glue. It's almost my middle name. Glue. And I love being it. I don't love watching people suffer through the heartache of something that is new to me, and trying to place myselves in their shoes, delicately dancing around certain aspects I've never been introduced too. I don't like when I'm asked. 'HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?' Because I wouldn't. I assume, I guess...I try.

I'm an empath by nature. My body, mind and soul absorb the emotions of another. I adopt the suffering and pain of someone and take it as my own. And as I've grown over the years, so has my tendancy to adapt and evolve from a person who always cried with someone, to someone who can't cry at all. When someone comes to me, or I go to them, in their time of need, my body goes into shut down mode. Without me knowing, my emotions become null. I'm void and feel less. I'm numb and out of control of any emotion that may enter me. And so...for as long as someone is suffering, so am I. I know what you're thinking. 'What a weirdo.' Or 'what an attention seeker, why the hell is she telling us this?' You may think what you will. I won't stop you, and I don't blame you. My own friends have called me worse. I am telling you thise because, people deserve to know. Many a time people believe that they are the cause of my sudden emotionless existance. And if not emotionless then they believe I'm suffering from insane depression. I'm not. I'm merely copeing with the strain of empathetic responsibility. And as my friends, you all deserve to know that. :)

No one, ever, has hurt me without intentionally ruining me. No one has laid their problems on my shoulders and left me to drown. So as my friends you are to never assume my demise is of your own fault. It's who I am. I've accepted it...and those of my friends have too.

Warning!
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello

Now, I have three friends! I know...that's a lot XD New personal best. Nah mate, amount doesn't count, it's how important those friends are right? :D Now...guess what?

I've totally updated my profile so it's this cool black with little tiny foxes that show my emotions. Aren't they cute? Everyone admire my foxes :P

Now...you may not check out my profile...*sigh* but if you do this is my little warning for everyone...

WE NEED FRIENDS! Come on people this is insane! I don't bite I swear :D
And the real reason I'm talking to you today is to implore you lot to check out thatgirl_65. She has rocking fanfiction for Chenzel and Cholive (pushing dasies) now, people who love Wicked, Chenzel is good...you know it is :D And Cholive has Kristin Chenoweth in it (granted she's in character, but she's there :D) So come on. thatgirl_65 is my friend. A good friend and she needs some wonderful people to appreciate her excellent writing. It's sad when you can't get reviews. So make her happy. If not for her than for me ;) I know you will :P

So...have a wonderful day people.
Stay safe
Grumbello

(no subject)
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello
Ttile: A Wicked Childhood
Author: Grumbello
Rating: T Eventually NC17
Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked, its characters or anything Gelphie :(
AN: I am sorry again, about the wait...this time I was just being lazy...sorry

 


 

One evening over dinner...Collapse )

 


Wanna hear something funny?
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello

Ok,

I managed to prove myself wrong once again when a lovely friend actually read my latest blog! It's a total shock I know but they did it :D Anyway, if anyone is reading this it is probably that same person but I'll write it anyway...God bless ya elphies_galinda sorry if I typed that wrong ;)

Ok so the funny thing.

I posted a story on here finally *cheers* except...

I did this big no no and posted without a rating or anything really showing what it was...*crowd gasps* Yes I know shocking.

To tell the truth I was getting there but hit the wrong button when typing it out and posted without knowing what I was doing. Then I couldn't figure out how to get it back! It was awful! After being hunted down by the Mod of the site I managed to find the magic button and re edit the story to make everyone happy...

oops...Oh well

Everything is fine now...I hope and if you want to check it out it's called A wicked Childhood.

APOLOGIES to everyone out there that I maddened...including the moderator for that page...I think I need to send an apology muffin basket or something ;)

Ok, stay safe and more cautious of your posts than me :D

Grumbello

Ok, I think I'm starting to get this...
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello
Alright,

I know I am not really posting anything, or doing much... but from all the snooping I have been doing around here...nothing illegal (I hope) :D I have determined that this is somewhere i can be me and share just random thoughts I have...so cool...

I don't really know where to start in this place. There is so much stuff in here that it is kind of doing my head in a little. Reading other peoples sights, it seems there is everything from parties to personal likes and dislikes...

but where do I begin?

I guess it is only fair to firstly assume that no one else is really going to read this, which is personally fine with me...but if you do happen to come across this sad scrap of writing let me know you exist cause that makes you someone rather special to me :D

Ok, warning. I am a sap...like really sappy sap; my friends have had to learn how emotional I can get. I get attached to everything so emotionally. For example, my musicals I have done in High school came with CD's so that we could learn the songs better. I can't listen to them now because I get upset that it's all gone and I get physically nauseous. Terrible I know, but that is who I am.

I listen so well though, or so I've been told. Technically on here it isn't listening as much as emailing, but the general gist is there. So I offer my services to you. I don't mind if I've never ever ever spoken to you, seen you or otherwise known you existed till now. If there is something bothering you, or you want to say hi, pop me a line. I will listen, it is my life. And sometimes the less you know someone the easier it is to talk to them. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to. Someone who won't judge or critisize, just listen. It may be hard to believe but I can be there if you need it.

Ok, sorry if I sounded like I was trying to sell something...I really wasn't honest :D

Well it was nice to meet you. I hope you all stay safe and happy.

All the best
Grumbello

Newbie
glow, heart, love, warmth
grumbello
G'day to all who are out there in this lovely new community that I am now a wonderful part of.

I am not sure how all this works at the moment but will surely learn and I am sure if I am doing anything extremely wrong someone is bound to tell me sooner or later right? 

So I am open to all friends any kind...doesn't matter if you are a girl, boy, old, young...cause really we are all sharing the same community. I am open to listen to people, talk to people, dance if you really want to but that might be a little difficult over a computer...but I am sure we'll figure something out...

I look forward to speaking to some of you...
Be safe and well
Your new member to the family
Grumbello

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